Why do I do dumb shit!
Dude....Nick called me again tonight.
Now, the only thing with Nick is that he acts like he doesn't give a fuck about shit, but he really does. Another thing about Nick is that his mom died when he was mad young.
So, like 3 minutes into the conversation Nick was like:
"So, what did you do today?"
And so I go:
RIGHT AFTER IT CAME OUT I coulda died, yo. Like...I just slapped my forehead in dismay because WTF else could I do? I really didn't mean for it to come out. I really don't even say "your mom" like that. WTF was I thinking?! He hung up like instantaneous. It sucks. He ran out of text, so I can't text him and I know that I should just give him time to chill.
I do feel bad though, because that's the THIRD time i've done that to him. It's not even intentional, though. Like...I could see if it was on some serious shit, but it never has been. I just feel bad because he calls me like all the time and talks for like hours, and I just do that shit.
Now playing: Travis Porter - F*cked In The Car
Why do I do dumb shit!
at 12:20 AM
If you know me, like...really really know me. You know that Chris is my absolute favorite. he's been my favorite since the first day I saw his "Run It" vid on TV. I been a die hard fan for a while now, and the whole Rihanna situation didn't stop my fan flow.
When the whole situation with Rihanna went down everybody was asking my opinion on it because they know much I dig him. IF you care to read about, even though it's old news, check it out via Myspace. (http://myspace.com/feedmekicks) or the link on the left.
Anyways, that situation didn't change how much I dig the hunk, himself. Sooooooooo. I am ECSTATIC to know that he jusst released some info via THIS justin.tv video:
He's got a new single, new album, and he looks better than ever. Can't stop, won't stop. WOMP!
Here's the full video, if you wanna see the boys bowling and shit like that.
Anyways, I'm excited to hear his new stuff. I been missin him. So, cheaaaaa. ♥
at 3:07 PM
I think this girl is on the beautiful side & she had a great voice. I do feel like she's switched up a lot since she got found on Youtube. Whatever, though. She's great, to me.
her album should be coming soon. She's the one that's singing the song on my blog with Justin Timberlake.
ANNNNNNNNNNNNND here's her new single.
I love her style.
at 8:49 PM
Uhm....I'm super tired.
Purple is my favorite color.
Follow me, I put a new theme up & picture up!
There's a video I made today.
I don't really like it, but whatever.
I been playing around on Facebook more.
Look me up, Audrey Thompson.
Anyways, I'm going to bed.
Now playing: Wiz Khalifa - Intro
at 4:50 AM
I just really feel like your sexual orientation isn't my business, and mine isn't yours.
"you need some good dick in your life. that will change"
I had an incident with this earlier, and yeah it's my blog, but I DON'T feel that it's necessary to make this in reference to myself. I really just want the situation as a whole to be out.
Anyways, I really feel like theres too many people that hate on another sexual orientation. For what? If you aint engaging in sexual intercourse/sexual activities then why do YOU care? What part of you thinks it's okay to tell someone something about THEIR sexuality? Like...WTF.
I feel like people are scared of the unknown and aren't comfortable with change/something other than what they are used to.
Anyways, why do people do it? Obviously if I'm bisexual, that means I like girls, and I CHOSE to be this way. So, why would telling me about this above statement, be legitimate? It's not. Obviously if I say that I'm some type of sexual orientation, it's because....that's the way I want things.
I could go on and on about this shit, but I'm tired.
I just think you should worry about your damn self.
at 11:59 PM
Okay, now if you guys have been following me for a minute now, you would know that I kind of lost a lot of interest in Beyonce. Her last album, was pretty good. It defiantly wasn't her best, and I feel like she kinda just "slid by" with a lot of the tracks on there. Whatever tickles her pickle though.
Back when the Diva video came out, I posted a post called "Are all single ladies divas?" because both the Single Ladies and the Diva video had the same aura of each other. So NOOOWWWWW she comes out with Ego.
Uhm...Beyonce. WTF, dude! Why are all the videos looking like the same thing. Lookin like the same dance routine, same dancers, and same fuckin outfits. Like...you are supposed to be that IT chick. So why can't we see no IT creativity comin out of you? You'd think because of all this hype of Keri Hilson callin her out, and Ciara supposedly doing the same things as her that she would come out with a BANG & try to do something different.
So....idk. Maybe it's just a little hateration comin outta me since I aint really feelin her much anymore, but I'm pretty sure that the videos keep resembling each other. =/
at 4:10 PM
If you follow me, and I DO NOT follow you back- LEAVE YOUR BLOGSPOT URL.
Some of you guys follow me, and then I can't look at your blog.
So I can't follow you back.
Anyways, on another note.
A lot of people I talk to online have been moving from Myspace to Twitter and Facebook.
IF YOU HAVE EITHER OF THOSE, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR LINKS IN A COMMENT.
I would really love to follow you guys. :)
Anyways, if you have me on Facebook- go check out my new graduation pictures.
If you don't have me on Facebook, add me.
ADD MY FACEBOOK!
If you would like to see ALL of the graduation pictures, or would just like to connect with me in another way- add me on Myspace.
ADD MY MYSPACE!!
And my newest addiction, Twitter!
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER!
I'll catch up on blogs tomorrow.
at 3:15 AM
My kid brother made this video of my graduation.
I'm too lazy to post up the pictures right now.
They will come soon.
at 1:24 AM
So, I haven't posted in a WHILE. That really sucks. i actually LOVE blogging, it's just that I run out of interesting topics to type about. I also don't want to bite from someone elses blog topics, so I just been kinda chill on the blogging scene.
Anyways, I've had a rough past few days. I'll just to the little +/- thing again...
+) I graduated from high school on May 16th, 2009.
+) I had my graduation party the same day.
-/+) I had a good amount of people that showed up, but not some of the ones that said they were going to.
-) I couldn't go to Rachel's party.
+) My mom is tkaing me to get her something tomorrow, hopefully.
+) had a girls night out.
+/-) Spent time with my best friend.
+) Planning room redecorating
-) IDK if my color scheme will interfere with the new colors i want. =/
+) I need a good book to read.
-) FUCK! Now that I think about it, I still aint finished Twilight.
Um....I can't think anymore.
I will be posting pics. Promise. :)
Later, when I get all the pics on my laptop.
at 2:40 AM
I know that I was kinda floored by this a while back, but today I was on Shantae's blog (theclicheblogger.blogspot.com) and I heard her song playlist. It was good ol' Jesse McCartney. I had never heard the song that she had on there, but I didn't really think much of it. It sounded like a good song. Later on, I went to go download a track with both Jesse McCartney and T-Pain. That's when I really realized it, that Jesse really went R&B. Does anybody know who produces his music now? I love it. I wish his last album would have been pushed more because I think his fan base would've changed up a little bit.
I am glad he went on to something other than pop, even though I still dug his music back in the day. Whatever, though. I like his new look as well. he reminds me of Justin Timberlake. Well, I don't think so much of it as him reminding me of Justin, but moreso as his sitution reminding me of Justin. Anyways, I just thought I would point that out, since i have been on a blogging drought.
Anyways, I really like this song by him. I had it downloaded, and I was just gonna post the song, but changed my mind because I love his look in this vid. Go Jesse!
at 3:46 AM
Today I woke up at a decent time. That's a first for me. I got quite a bit accomplished. Wrote a few letters, had a nice long ass phone conversation with a friend, put some clothes away, got some exercise with my little brother, played Dr. Phil, tried a new Gatorade, took a nap, worked on photoshop stuff, cried for like 20 minutes over something my brother said to me, worked on college stuff, and got dumped. All in a days work. Some of the stuff didn't amuse me, and I am a little upset, but like the title says- everything happens for a reason, right?
So, starting with the simple things. The Gatorade was pretty good. It's like Melon or some shit. Whatever. It wasn't all that great playing Dr. Phil, but it's my cousin and she needed some guidance. I aint trippin about any of that. the nap was superb! I didn't want to sleep for two hours, and I believe I had an attitude with like 3 people that called and woke me up, I do apologize. Photoshop was fun today. Didn't really get anything too serious in, but you know how much I love me some photoshop.
Now, I dunno what it is with some people, but why do the people you are closest to feel like they can say really mean things to make you mad? I know that the whole point of saying mean stuff is to get someone mad/sad/upset/depressed, but it's not okay to say that. If any of you have followed my blog for over two months, you would know that I lost my job a little while back. I have been struggling trying to find somethin new. Mothers Day, which just passed, I felt extremely bad that I couldn't get my mom something materialistic. Who wouldn't be upset by that? I was, and still AM! Anyways, I always make it a habit to write her a lengthy letter telling her how much i appreciate her and love her and blahzay blah. You get it. So, out of nowhere today, my kid brother said some hurtful shit. Him: "That's why you didn't get Mom a present for Mother's Day". =| that shit really hurt my feelngs. Not only because my mom means a whole lot to me, but because HE means a whole lot to me. When people say mean stuff, it hurts. When people you CARE about say mean stuff, it hurts WORSE. (Sidenote for some of you. 87% of you would've typed the word WORST in the position, that is NOT correct. It's annoying. Fix your grammar.) So, I cried over that. I have no idea if it has anything to do with me being a chick, the fact that I am PMS'ing, or if it was because I got woken up from my nap the wrong way, but yeah...I cried. He apologized. I still cried. Blah blah. I'm over it now, but that shit really did hurt.
Moving along...Bear and I are over. Yeah, lasted a whole lotta time, didn't it? Smh. Anyways, yeah I'm mad about it because I was enjoying his company, but there is a lot of things that I wasn't okay with. He deleted me from his Twitter, both Myspace's, and left a mean ass comment on my Myspace. Blah blah. I hope he feels better about it. I don't wanna drag things out. I just hope he;s happy with the decision. You guys look out for him, he's bouta be producing some HITS. Good luck with all of that.
Moving on...i had an overall good day. Seriously, I enjoyed this day. It was productive.
at 11:12 PM
I'm trying to win a scholarship, so if you can please vote for me.
Thank you if you do. If not, I still love you. :)
here's the link:
Tell your friends, please.
Now playing: Lil Wayne - The Rapper Eater
Now playing: Lil Wayne - The Rapper Eater
at 8:40 PM
Today was my senior banquet. Like, honestly I didn't have a good time. I didn't even talk to half of the people there. The pizza wasn't that great either. A good thing was that I totally spent some time with Rachel. Did I mention that Rachel means A LOT to me? Well, she does. I didn't win any awards and I wasn't in the slide show. I'm not mad about it at all because HELLO! I haven't been to school since December, so I wouldn't expect to have been mentioned. Here's the FEW pictures I took.
Anyways, what I really wanted this blog to be about is the aftermath of high school. I know that people say high school is where you make most of your friends, but what if you didn't open up enough to get to know people like you wanted? What if you stopped going to school to work, and didn't meet everybody?
What I'm saying is, I am very unhappy with how many GOOD friends I left high school with. I know that in a way it's my fault. I didn't get all extra involved ins school, I stopped going, I had half days, and I was too shy at all the wrong times. I feel like I will miss out on a lot of people who could have been good friends. There's nothing I can do now, it just sucks that I went through those years with just a few close friends and MAD acquaintances. I wish it could have been the other way around, but whatever.
at 10:05 PM
LOL @ these dudes. The shit is incredibly funny.
I don't know if I would like to make this post about homosexuality or bow wow. Either way, I have to get this blog post OUT, because I have been working on it for like FOUR fucking hours! I think it's just because Ginger kept sidetracking the FUCK out of me. Anyways...
I think I wanna talk about homosexuality first. I really don't care if you are homophobic or not, that's on YOU. I can't do anything about it, but I do find it unappealing when people who are homophobic voice their opinions out to a general audience who is, in fact, gay/bi. Why would you do that? I see the whole "no homo" thing thrown around a lot. Like...if you aren't GAY, then you shouldn't have a guilty conscience. =/ It bothers me.
Anyways, Bow Wow. That dude, is a whole story in his own self! Why he made that dumb video talking about "I'm a man, I'm a man..." I have no idea! The shit was mad corny and LAME. If you aint gay, and you don't have any regrets about not wanting the gay barber to cut your hair- then shut the fuck up. Don't sit up on youtube and make some videos. You're famous. Get a life.
at 1:24 AM
at 2:17 AM
So, May 6th, I am officially a graduate of Omaha North High Magnet School. It really is starting to hit me. I may only walk into that school a handful of times ever again. It's almost crazy to me. I knew that people waited for this moment, but I thought people just wanted for it because they wanted to stop waking up early in the morning. I thought they were just sick of being told what to do, how to do it, and why they are going to do it. I now realize that the reason why it's so satisfying is because it's finally showing whats paid off. It's finally showing that you worked hard for all 13 years of school that you've been put through. It's mad nice to know that I actually done it.
A lot has happened this year. I made friends, lost friends...literally, stopped going to school, both kept & lost my first job, and many other situations. I feel like this whole year of being a senior has really put me in my place. It really has. It showed me that people in your life don't do anything but steer you wrong, it showed me that lifes are taken from you quicker than you can blink, and theres nothing you can do about it. I learned that life isn't fair, people are rude, and nobody cares about you besides YOU.
I wish Mike Driggers and Scott Tunstall were here to share this with me. Man, I really miss them two. Scott, I forgive you. You left everyone down here hurt, broken, and dumbfounded. I understand what you did was for yourself, and I hope you are watching over us. Mike...I miss you man. I love you so much. Words can't explain the hurt that I still feel inside because you're gone. I was at your grave the other day. You have been gone 10 months. TEN. Time flew by. I remember that day when I woke up and looked at all those text messages. "RIP Mike". I never thought I would see RIP written before your name. NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS! You are in an absolute better place. I hope that you watch over my cousin, your family, and me. I hope you watch over everybody who loved you, matter of fact. I love you.
I hope that everybody who has graduated from high school has learned something and actually cares about graduating. I hope the people who have yet to graduate can read this and understand...
at 11:00 PM
This post will be MAD long, please refrain from leaving the page before you read the entire thing. Thanks.
The past few days have been VERY eventful. I'll just do the whole -/+ thing.
May 4th, 2009.
I aint gonna lie, I can't even remember what I did that day, but I will just bunch anything in here that I've forgotten for the other days. :)
-/+) I cleaned a shit ton of my room up.
+) I might have a job in two weeks, at this hotel.
-) My best friend hasn't even been talking to me. I want to get her out of my life, but I just aint ready for the drama. Here we go with that whole scene again....I really wish she would just learn to act like a good friend.
Um...I can't really think of anything else. I pretty much ahve just been stressing about graduation and my party.
May 5, 2009.
-) I woke up mad late.
-) I had to go to independent studies. I found out that I might not graduate because the bitch from my school didn't send my mandatory test scores! WTF.
-) I found out that May 6, 2009 is the deadline for seniors!
+) I delivered all of my invitations via car and mail.
+) Cassie and my mom got my graduation cake ordered! WOMP!
-) Bear fell asleep on me, which pissed me off so fucking bad.
-/+) I went to sleep at 11, which is like 5 hours earlier than normal!
-) I realized that I haven't sent a letter to any of my penpals in like 2 weeks. I need to reply so I can actually get letters.
-) I haven't read any of my Twillight book in like....over 2 months. WTF.
-) I finished Bear's background for one of his projects.
+) I TOTALLY forgot to mention my friend Rachel and I's lunch. That was honestly the highlight of my day, I really dunno who I forgot. I feel really bad.
May 6, 2009.
-) I thought I was going to have to spend four hours doing tests that I had already dont to graduate. It was the deadline, and I was nervous.
+) I found out that I didn't have do redo all those texts because my mom FINALLY got things worked out with school & independent studies.
-) I really hate the way the word "dike/dyke" was bein thrown around today.
+) I went to lunch with Sumner. It was the first time that I had actually hung out with her outside of school without a bunch of people around. It was fun. We went and got ice cream and ate at this cute little restaurant.
-)I was really sleepy today & I really thought I was going to have to take a nap, but I been trying to get my sleep schedule back on track.
+) I feel like one of my online friends and myself don't talk as much. I think that it's just because things have been going on, but maybe it was because I thought that person was lowkey talking about me in her blog. =/ Whatever, though.
+) I walked around the neighborhood with my kid brother, who is absolutely amazing BTW.
+) A ton of people texted me telling me that they received my invitation to my graduation party. I hope they all make it to my party. :)
-/+) I realized that this is like the busiest month of my entire life.
+) Kelsey came over for like 2 hours.
+) We grilled out! That chicken was BOMB!
+) Maggie came over. We spent the majority of our time talking about people. Maggie and me are funny when we are together. Our jokes are 200 timesbetter when we are a team. :D
So, I need to start planning out my time now. This whole month is full of things I need to do. I am hoping to get a good turn out from my graduation party because I need a car. I also am hoping that I can hang out with my friends a LOT more. Things are going to be....crazy from now on. I don't really know where life will go from here. I know that I need to get my FASFA stuff ready for college. In the fall, I will be going! Can't stop, won't stop. Education is a MUST.
at 7:15 PM
I know you can't sit and worry about what other people do with their lives, but doesn't the shit piss you off at certain times? Let me explain...
I rally don't see the point in telling people all this change that you are going to make upon yourself, your life, or your character just to turn around and not pull through with any of it. How does that make sense? It's like saying, "I'm going to stop smoking marijuana", while standing in a field of marijuana plants! The shit is dumb. I understand that sometimes things are beyond your control, and you can't help but keep doing what you were doing.
I have a friend who is always saying that she wants to stop drinking and smoking, yet she only says that when she's around me. I think a lot of the times this happens is because I don't drink and smoke to have fun. I feel like too many people say that shit to, in a sense, impress me. It's mad dumb for them to try to impress me, like why in the fuck would I care? It's YOUR life, not mine. I'ma live mine and do what I wanna do, so don't lie to me to make yourself feel better.
I just think that if you talk about all this shit you are gonna do, and then turn around and don't do it that you need some serious self-control re-evaluation.
at 2:39 AM
Um...I don't think he REALLY hates me, but what do I know! :)
I know I look mad retarded. I had just woke up and....yeah. Whatever, though. I laughed.
Anyways, Chris is a good dude. He's mad cool, besides the above stated fact that he DIDN'T shout me out in his damn vlog. =/
Hit him up:
Now playing: Kanye West - Go Hard (Remix) (Feat. Lil Wayne, Jay-Z)
at 8:55 AM
I am really REALLY puzzled on why the whole "love" word is thrown around like it isn't anything important. I am stumped when it comes to little kids (pre-teen/teenagers) saying they love each other, they will be together forever, blahzay blah. I COMPLETELY understand CARING for another human being. I COMPLETELLY understand feeling love for someone. Being IN LOVE and HAVING love for someone is a little different. I have an issue with people who claim they are in love, not even weeks into a new relationship. I know I may need to just shut the fuck up and stay out of people's business, but it irks the FUCK out of me.
I have a friend, who I used to "talk" to, now I understand this individual has a whole lot of issues that are going on in her life, and so do other people, BUT this person jumps from person to person looking in all the wrong places for love. As soon as my friend finds somebody who can say nice things, and make feel good emotions come out, my friend is all "in love". Are you serious?
I do believe in soul mates, and I do believe in connecting with people in a manner that makes you feel so good and ect. I don't however think that within a month's time frame you can be IN LOVE with someone. There's no possible way. You might love them, or care for them a whole lot, but you aren't IN LOVE with them. It doesn't make any sense. Maybe it's just me.
Maybe the above example is just me being bitter because I had/have feelings for that person, but what can I do. I feel like the above person is making wrong choices by looking for love with whomever she can find it in. I think this person is using sexual feelings that people feel towards her as care and complete utter affection. Whatever the case may be, I think it's insane.
Now playing: E Dot DizZy - Move If You Want To
at 1:45 AM
I sometimes feel like I will never win. I will never make something of myself. It's times like this when I need people close to me the most, but I push them away. I feel like my life won't go anywhere that I want it to go. I feel like people don't understand what really goes on with me. I feel like I have nowhere to turn, nobody who can understand, and nobody who really cares. This isn't a post to make people feel sorry for me, I just really need to let it out.
I had a wonderful night. Bear and I made things official, and I'm happy about it. I don't care what people have to say about it. Like, at first i thought it was too soon to make things official, but when you have 7 hour cake sessions, it's irrelevant to the public. He's mad sweet and he makes me smile. ♥
Yeah, that shit made me smile. Lol.
& BTW, LaLa already told me I forgot to blur his s/n out at the bottom. =/
Too lazy to change it.
Anyways, on to the REAL topic at hand. As the wee hours of morning came upon Bear & I's conversation...things got intense. We somehow got onto the subject of the people close to me who have passed away recently. I might seem strong and that I am okay with it, but there's always those days where you feel lost and alone and you just can't help it. Today was one of those days. It really doesn't help that I started crying and just got mad emotional over it all, but that's what happened. I dunno how he feels about what happened, but I'm trying to use this as something positive. Like...it's good that I cried already, so he knows I got a heart and that I have things that I'm not okay with, but then again it's embarrassing because I just started talking to him. It happened and there's really nothing I can do about it.
I cried myself to sleep at something like 11 O' clock this morning. Things just aren't okay with me. They really aren't.
at 6:26 PM