1.23.2009

DOES HE EVEN REALLY CARE?

I woke up today with a text from my mom.
The text conversation went a little like this...

Mom: I'm having a snack. mmm...
Audrey: Why you having snacks?
Mom: Because I was hungry and I miss your dad today. I miss our old family some days and I wonder if he ever feels the same or does he just forget we were ever a family.
Audrey: ...Maybe he forgets.
Mom: I never forget.

WHY!? It hurts. Even when you think that you have jumped the biggest hurdle, the hurdle being the pain, it's never EVER going to be over with. I'm not even sure why my dad did it. I'm not even sure why they couldn't hold on just a little longer. All I know is that I was too young to fully feel the wrath of what was really going on. It hurts to see my mom in these kinds of situations. She's always been my role model. I hate when people talk down on her, like she doesn't try every single day. I'm not saying that there aren't millions of other struggling single mother, but I am saying that my mom puts forth all the amount of effort she has in her.

I do wonder if my dad knows what he's done to her. I wonder all the time what things would be like if they hadn't gotten a divorce. I wonder how people look at the situation. My mom and dad were basically high school sweethearts. They have been pretty much dating since my mom was 15. That's a long time.

I wish I could ask him if he cares, actually wait, I KNOW he cares. He still loves her. They BOTH still love each other. I still think they are IN love with each other, my dad just had to many problems. Money is the root of all evil, you know. I don't know if my mom tried her best, and I don't know if it was all his fault. But I do know that I love both of them very much. I mean, look at me. I am the epitome of both of them. I know that I have the best mother, even if she doesn't know that. If any of you knew my mom, you'd know why I think she's the best. Even all of my friends think she's the best, seriously.

I just really wish she knew how much she meant to me....

4 comments.:

Jackie's World! said...

:``[

Jackie's World! said...

:``[

secret love notes said...

Your mom is an amazing woman. I'm sorry about what happened between her and your dad. :(
Money is definitely the root of all evil.

ShantaeMarlinda said...

If there's anything I've learned in the past few years it's that sometimes love [isn't] all you need. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're right for eachother. It doesn't mean you know how to be together; how to make things work.

Your parents aren't together for a reason. Maybe they'll overcome it and get back together. Maybe not. All you can do is be realistic. Hope for the best, but don't be wishful. Above all else, just be there for your mom ..esp when she needs to vent as it seems she did in those text msgs. Sometimes the kid has to step up and support the parent, yanno?