4.08.2009

A VERY IMPORTANT POST.

So, today I got a call from an unknown number. They left a message, and I checked it before I called back. I thought it was just some random person of the sort because the voicemail just had a bit of Ne-Yo's- Mad in the background. Then they called back and I accidentally hit the ignore button! SO, I called back. Turns out that it was a woman from Champ's. The SHOE store! Yeah, they called me in for an interview...TOMORROW! So, I gotta get ready for that. I've never had an interview AT ALL. So, I am nervous about that for the most part. I also need to figure out how I am going to pass my drug test. I've been smoking since I lost my job, I think it was due to depression and part boredom. Whatever, though. That's tomorrow at 10:30 AM. It's going to be hard as FUCK to wake up. I had a long last few days, though. So i think I will be able to knock out early.


I've been spending a lot of time with my cousin Cassie. I knew that she meant a lot to me, but I never knew how much she really meant to me. You know how there's an unspoken friendship within family members, FOR THE MOST PART, well ours is different than that. We are actually friends and we actually trust each other. We call each other when we need to talk, and we don't hide how we really feel. It's nice to know that I have that to look forward to, even if I feel like I have nobody else in life.


My grandma hasn't been doing well lately. Well, better than when she was in the hospital a month or so back, but today I found out that she's in the late stages of COPD. She is now diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. If you don't know what that is, then you should really look into that. It's when fluid basically fills up your lungs- killing you slowly and obviously not painlessly. I feel really bad. When you know someone is dying, you feel 10 times more worse than you already do for every bad thing that you have ever done or said to them. It hurts me. My grandma is really like my second parent, since my dad is pretty much worthless. It hurts....really bad. I know my mom will take it the worst out of all my aunts and uncles because my mom is the cloest to her. I mean, we live right next door and we do everything with her. We share groceries, we share money, when we go out to eat we always grab her something, and whenever she needs something done she just yells out her front door. LOL. I will miss all of that. I don't want to think negatively, but I have to think about the worst before I hope for the best and get let down. It sucks, really bad. Today I put on fake tattoos with her. This lady is crazy! She wanted a little fairy, right? Well not litle, like 2 inch tall fairy. So, I asked her where she wanted it, this crazy lady was like "on my neck". LOL. Anyways, I love her and I do plan on spending tons more time with her. Not to say I haven't already, but I want her to feel really loved by me.


Anyway, I hung out with Teresa the last few days. That girl is really amazing. I really wish I could get into a relationship with her. I feel like she understands. I really feel like she understands more than most people. It's hard to explain. I like the feeling I get when I'm around her. I dunno....





It's almost time for me to graduate! I am very excited. I am planning my party. It's not totally planned, but it is for the most part. IF YOU LIVE IN OMAHA, NEBRASKA AND YOU WOULD LIKE TO ATTEND, HERE'S THE INFO. YOU ARE INVITED IF YOU ARE READING THIS!!!



On another note, I feel like some of my old friends and I are drifting apart. Rachel and Jessica used to be so close to me. I love those girls. I think it's more Jessica, than Rachel. I mean, I understand that life has it's curve balls or whatever both of them may be going through, but it just kinda hurts that we haven'tevne hung out or whatever. I'll get over it, I guess. =/

5 comments.:

Bri_Luv_313 said...

i heard my sisters boyfriend tell her to gargle vinegar. well she did and it worked. but try also to kick the smoking habit, though it isn't as bad as cigarettes there still are health risks =/

secret love notes said...

good luck tomorrrow for the millionth time (:
we need to hang soon fersure.
i am coming to your graduation party. you better come to mine haha.

miss feedmekicks* said...

@ bri- thanks. i don't smoke a lot. i am going to kick the habit. it's lame.

@ rach- haha. yeah, good luck for tomorrow? my interview was today =/

secret love notes said...

haha i know, i realized that after i posted but was too lazy to go back and fix it.

miss feedmekicks* said...

@ rach- hah! that's quite alright.