Today was just a normal day. It started off good. Went good all day. And is ending good.
I don't have work tomorrow and I really don't have many plans. Hopefully something will come up....

In my last post, I was angry, hurt, dumbfounded, and even hateful. All over something that was brought to my attention. I really don't think all of the details need to be dropped, nobody really cares anyway. What I do want to say is that I did overreact. I don't want to NOT be Rachel's friend, but I don't want to have shit being said behind my back.

Pretty much- I decided that someone I gave my trust to opened their mouth. Yeah, I did say that I think that Rachel & I might end up being closer than both of our relationships with our best friends that we have now. We BOTH said that. We both talked about distancing ourselves from certain people after school gets out. Never once did I mention this to Rachel's best friend or mine. We agreed that nothing needed to be said. So here's where I get angry, pissed, hurt, ect...

If these things were only said between us, with intentions of not saying anything else about it- then how did it get out? How did my best friend hear "through the grapevine" about the same shit that I said? How did some of the statements become misconstrued?

Never once did I say "I do not like Autumn because I like Rachel now."
Never once did Rachel say "I don't like Autumn because she tried to hit on Stephen."
Never once did I say "Rachel George, you are my new best friend."

So if these things AREN'T being said, then how the fuck is it all coming up?
SOMEONE'S mouth has been opened up.

So really, now that I got all of that out there, I'm going to address ONE person.

Rachel: If you said something to anyone or whatever the case may be, that's fine. But please tell whomever you told to get the story stright, and accurate. If you feel like I am definately not worth keeping around, that's fine too. Never once have I tied any negative connotations to your name when speaking to someone else. I have never had a problem with you. I am definately not going to lie, I'm sure this probably stems a little bit from Bekka. I don't really care, to be honest. I just think that when/if I do ocme to that conclusion with Autumn where I have to let her know that we aren't best friends anymore, then I would like to be the one to do it. I don't want her coming up to me with wrong fucking stories that I never once said. So, if you honestly consider me a lost friend and whatever the fuck else- that's cool with me. It's your decision.


secret love notes said...

I don't even know where all of this is coming from. I don't know what the hell Bekka and Autumn talked about, because I'm sure this is all coming from them.
I did tell Bekka that I don't really like Autumn, but I never said it was because she tried to hit on Stephen or anything like that. Honestly, I'm a jealous ass girlfriend, and I used to not like her before really knowing her because I knew that she had used to like him. Then we were cool, but the thing at homecoming did annoy me. I don't know what she really said or what her intentions were, but I never said anything about her other than "oh.. I don't think I like her that much."
I didn't anything about you & I being best friends, or our conversation at all, except to Stephen, who talks to neither of those girls and obviously wouldn't have anything to do with that.
All I can say is that I think they both came up with these crazy ass stories, and I don't know.
I try to stay out of as much drama as I can so it came as a surprise to me to have you not talking to me when I hadn't done anything, until Bekka tells me about her & Autumn and "all she said was..."
Honestly, I don't care what either of them said, or how either of them feel.
I DO want to be your friend, I just figured you didn't want to be mine since you ignored me without confronting me. Correct me if I'm wrong. (: