11.18.2008

TEN.

July seems so long ago when I think about the months.
but it was just yesterday, in my mind, that i woke up to that text.
that was the worst text I could have ever received.
WHY? hy did God choose you Mike?

I've been thinking about you alot lately.
I think about little things.
Were you happy before you passed away?
How many unread texts were in your inbox?
What were you wearing?
Did you know it was your time?
What did you smell like?
What were your last words?

...and to sit here and think that you will never walk in my life again kills me.
I love you Mike.
I wish you could understand how I feel.
I wish I could have hugged you just one more time, told you how much your friendship meant, or even had one last laugh.

Is it wrong for your face to be fading from my memeory?
Is it wrong that when I look at your picture, it looks alienated to me because I can only see you lying in that casket?
Please tell me. Is it wrong?

Is it wrong that I wish it was me instead of you?

IS THAT REALLY WRONG?

I don't understand.

Mike. We all love you. ALL of us.


picture courtesy of corrie brown's myspace page.

2 comments.:

Corrie said...

it makes me want to cry.

:(

made me think love

Jessica Nichole;; [RIP JMD] said...

ive been thinking alot about him too
it seems like everything reminds me of him =[
i miss him so much
&& ricky doesnt like to talk about it.. it makes him start to cryy...
i wish he was here.
he didnt deserve this.