All my teenage years have been consumed with working for what AUDREY wants. Anything I wanted, I worked for. I have nice things because I WORKED for nice things. I took care of my nice things. Every sneaker, I put it work for.

I graduated early and I attend college. I'm no dummy. I will say this, for anybody who thought I had or HAVE it easy, you a damn lie.

It drives me insane when a person tries to knock another persons hustle. It pisses me off when a person has nice shit, and tries to rub it in your face. News flash, you aint rubbin shit in my face, because with the quick request at work, I can have the same shit.

The point of this post is to say that people should realize that I aint ballin outta control, but I can have the same shit as you. I work for everything I want, and I get everything I want because of that.

I had an incident with someone today. They tried to rub some shit in my face, and it did irk me, but not because they got some stuff above me. But because of the way they went OUT OF THEIR WAY to mention the shit to me and how they were doing it to "one up" me, is what made me mad.

DON'T DO THAT. If you really wanna floss the shit you got, just DO IT. Don't brag and talk about it. That makes you look deperate, unconfident, and just wack ass fuck.



So, I know that holidays are coming up QUICK. There's so many birthdays, special dates, and family days around this time of the year. I love spending time with my family and whatnot.

Over this past year and a half, I've lost many people close to me. Thinking about the holidays brings to my attention that there are people who won't be as joyous as the next. Mothers who have lost their children, grandmothers who are resting with God now, and even fathers who have passed on. It makes me so sad to think about.

I recently lost my cousin. September 11, 2009 wasn't only a 9/11 terrorist attack "anniversary", if you will, it was also the day my cousin got taken off life support. His birthday was just a few days after that. We went through the first birthday without him, the first halloween, and now it's the first Thanksgiving and Christmas, ect? It hurts, but I know that he's in a better place. I know I will be thankful for life and my families lives this year, now more than ever. I wake up everyday praising God that he opened my eyes again today.

I didn't mean for this post to turn into something religious, but this is how I'm feeling. If anybody reads my posts, don't think of me trying to be religious, think about the people who have lost people and have to keep enduring life without the people they love.



It's funny how people only tell other people what they want them to know, and only that. Sometimes it's not even that big of a deal, but I feel like often times people just lie to be lying. Like why mention the fact that you went to the store, bought Burger King, took a piss at Walmart, and even rolled a shitty ass blunt BUT forget to mention that you stopped by some chicks house. Or that you called to chill with homegirl or called to just see what was up with her. Like...is it insecurities? Is it that you don't want to get caught up, or don't want to have to explain yourself? Like I honestly don't understand why people do it.

When it's a person close to me or that is involved with me, that shit would annoy me. Usually it's just randoms around me, and I see the shit easier because it's so obvious. I laugh at it, I just don't know why someone does it. The funny part is it's usually people who claim they aint gotta lie, or that they keep it real, and don't got shit to hide.

*shrugs* Oh wells. It's humorous to me.

Anyways, I been bumpin Big Sean heavy lately. I wish he would drop another mixtape or some shit. I dig him..hardbody. So, I updated my blog with his face. I really like the graphic to be honest. Tell me how you feel about it.



Honestly, what does it take for someone to be emotionally attached?

Being emotionally attached doesn't have to be sprung, jealous, in love, ect. You can be emotionally attached to someone you see everyday, someone that you learn something from, ect.

Today was the last day of my first semester in college.

I'm not saying I feel emotionally attached like I'm swooning over someone there or anything, but I come to realize that being emotional with people around you isn't a bad thing. I realized that I will miss seeing those people in that class. I will miss that old bitch who never talked to me because I had my face pierced, or that weird girl in Art class, and even Darelle. Oh my god. He was type sexy.

So, shit like that just makes me wonder. Does it make me OVER emotional? Or does it just make me a normal person?

I think it's just the normal routine. I like having a routine, that doesn't get messed up or leave you questioning whats gonna happen next. Does that mean I reply too much on other people? Or does it just mean the same as what I stated before?

I really just like normal things. I like keeping to know people. I like routines. I don't like always wondering what time I should leave the house in the morning, what road would be the quickest to take, ect. I do it the first time, and I try to do the same things the same way after that.




So, my homeboy Trey keeps spittin crack.

If you haven't downloaded his mixtape, you really need to. He's hot! I'm very supportive of him because he's a real dude with a real personality, and real TALENT.

So, go get "TETRIS" at


He dropped somethin new on us.

Download "TAKE OFF" from his blog too!

I wouldn't support wack shit, so you know it's somethin worth peepin.



It's like as soon as she comes around, all these feelings come rushing back. Every single one. I can't shake it. I can't be her friend and just think those feelings are going to go away. I can't.

It's been a few months since we broke it off. I should have gotten all the way over this shit, by now. I haven't, though. She has my heart, still. I know it's causing friction for some other people, but fuck it. It's about me. I gotta deal with this shit, not anybody else. Nobody will ever care about me and my situations like I do.

I'm gonna try and start blogging on the regular now. I feel like I need to. There;s so much shit I need to say. I just need to actually sit down and SAY it. I also need blog topics. Pullin shit out of my ass is sometimes a hard thing to do.



I always have a problem with emotions.

I feel like so many people these days deceive and don't think twice about it. So what about the real people? With real emotions? Who REALLY care? I wonder if the people who have "empowerment" in these situations actually care.

Anyways, I been talkin to someone as a friend. They give me more than enough attention and keep it real. Except for the fact that they are involved. I'm not involved so, I don't feel wrong, but.... when I stop and think about it.....I am.

I know more than one person can read this and think "Oh..she's talking about me", but I'm probably not.



If you read my blogs, or pay attention to me AT ALL, you would know that my cousin was killed back in September. There's more details to the story than I can even give you here in this blog. What I do know, is that for ONE, I'm getting fed up with just having my cousin's murder case a cold one. For TWO, I'm tired of people around the neighborhood acting like they don't know any FUCKING thing that happened that night.

I'm happy to say that things are actually coming to an end. They put names out about where to find dude, and his name, and ect. I honestly, in my heart, don't think cops do their jobs as well, if not at all, like they should. I do however think, with this whole situation, things are actually coming along with the case. I just want justice. I really need closure. This type of thing really gets me emotional because it was my cousin. For one, it wasn't just my cousin, it was my FRIEND. My friends life was taken away over NOTHING. I just want to know he's at peace and the dude responsible is earning the sentence he deserves.



I am so sick of some people.

It's almost disgusting how when someone aint got shit else to do, they wanna fuck with you. It's a WHOLE NOTHER story when you want to talk to them or want them to do something. Like...that's a fucking double standard for one, and for two it just pisses me off.

I swear I hope some of these people ask me for something. I really do.

I'm ready to cut people off.

I already cut one dumb bitch off, for bein an idiot. I might start cuttin some more people.

I feel like ranting, but then again...I feel like half these people aint worth shit.



For one, I REALLY cannot stand when people have shit to say that don't concern them. It's one of the most annoying things on this earth, and I am NOT over-exaggerating. If you have shit to say, that's fine. It's your opinion, I can't be mad, right? But when you ALWAYS say shit out of turn. It doesn't concern you. So, shut the fuck up.

I notice it's always the ugly broads, or the not-so-fly ones, or the fuckin ratchet ass hoes who ALWAYS feel the need to be heard. Sometimes silence is louder than words. Try it.



So, I don't really know how this works, but I know that I got nominated for some blog award by my lovely friend Gia.

Follow her blog: http://giabananasxxx.blogspot.com/

Anywho, I gotta name off 7 random things about me that people might think are interesting.

1. I got over 14 piercings.
2. I never watch TV. Like...seriously. NEVER.
3. I don't drink and have never been drunk in my life.
4. I don't wear Air Forces.
5. I am bisexual. Nicki Minaj DID NOT influence that.
6. I'm afraid of dying.
7. I'm scared of needles.

Yeah, I might not be THAT interesting, but whatever.

Anyways, I don't know who to nominate because I don't actually know who reads my blogs.

So, if you do still read my blog, leave a comment and let me know. If people are reading, I will post more often.