I've been away.
For a long while.
I miss bogging, but I honestly haven't had the will to actually blog.
I dunno what it is. Blogging just hasn't seemed appealing.

Anyways, my girlfriend and I broke up. She really broke my heart. I know I've never been the type to fall for people and/or let these types of decisions get to me, but I did. It hurts a lot. I know this isn't a Dr Phil episode, so I'll leave it at that. All I can do now is learn for it, and possibly hope things can change. In my heart...I know they won't.

Anyways, I got a job. :) I now work at Sears in the shoe department. I actually love it. there is a lot of work that you have to be responsible for, but I'm ready to pull that task. I'm still in training and still learning. I hope that I can get the hang of it quickly. I actually dig the early hours too. That means, once I get out of this insomniac mode, I can actually do other shit in the day besides losing it all to work like I used to do.

School for me starts on Tuesday. I'm ready to start just because I am so bored with life since I left school in December. I just hope that working doesn't interfere. I actually have quite a few hours. I work everyday except the days I go to school. That should keep me busy. I take 3 classes. Intro to Art, Intro to Humanities, and Oral Communications. That's only three classes, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm ready. Hopefully I can meet some new people, because the high school fags I know are a waste of air.

Speaking of friends. Sumner has been quite the new buddy. I've had her around for a while, but we have never been as close. I like it.

Friends....hmm. So there's this person that I talk to practically all day and all night via AIM or text. I really like it. I hope that person likes it too. I feel incomplete if I don't talk to that person on a daily basis. I'm a suckaaaaaa.

Trey Songz had a private webchat today. It was only for those who pre-ordered his album packages. I haven't gotten my package yet, but I am patiently waiting.

Last, but not least. I started a tumblr account. If anybody has one, or can teach me the ropes please let me know. That shit is way confusing for me.




I tried to give you the best of me,
but that just turned into stress for me.
So that day you decided you was dead to me,
had to be the best thing you could've done for me.



So, let's just right into it.

The "Run This Town" video leaked. WOMP. No bueno or the wait, but I won't post the video.

Enough about that. I know I said I was going to be blogging more, but then all of a sudden things came up. so, i gotta do what I've gotta do.

I don't think I mentioned much about my girlfriend here in my blog. I do have a girlfriend, though. Things are going well between us, but there is a few issues. The issues aren't within the relationship, but within the shit that goes on around us. It's hard to explain without puttin all my business out here. I don't wanna do that, though. All I know is that we are gonna make it work, however we can.

I been hanging out with rachel a lot more. This does make me happy because we kind of grew apart and I hated it. She's a really good friend, though. Today is her birthday. She's 18. :D We are going to get get industrials together. I'm excited, though. It means a lot that she actually asked me to go, because I thought she would take one of her more close friends. Anyways, we will have fun.

I had a job interview two days ago at Sears. They were impressed with my interview, so yesterday I had to go back for a second interview and I got hired. I got hired in the SHOE department, so that shit made me extra happy. I can't wait because I've been without a job for about 5 months.

The only thing I am worried about i the drug test. I have to take that today. I'm super nervous because I was smoking last week. I bought this detox drink, and all I can do is hope the shit works. If not, I'm gonna be fucked. That would make me really sad.

Today I also have a tour of my new college. I start college on September 1st. I'm really excited for this, but then again I'm nervous. It's a huge step, but hopefully I am ready. Now that I pretty much have a job, there's a ton of stress lifted off of me.

I still haven't gotten my license. it's hard for me because it's so scary for me since my friend died. I just gotta man up and take care of it, though. I need to start going to school and such.

Other than that, I don't think I am forgetting anything....I might be, though.

Ummm....New tattoo prolly coming very soon.



So my homeboy Dizzy found this dude who was taking every singe one of his blog posts. ALL OF THEM. Like copy and pasting every single thing, side pictures and all. Now, I've heard of stealing quotes, names, and pictures on the internet, but stealing WHOLE blogs?

Here's the link to the fradulant blog.

Here's Dizzy's REAL blog.
The REAL deal.



So, I decided that since I'm not out, nobody is hittin me on messegers, Myspace has been dead, and Twitter is half...I dunno where that I would do some video watching. I'll leave the video and my short commentary. Stop the music playing on the RIGHT. :)


So...I'm just bothered by the fact that he can dance better than some females. That's all.


Wow. Look at them got damn toe nails. I just threw up in my mouth a little.


Now...I am not mad at this man for speaking his opinions about the gay men he has messed with, or the fact that he drags it out by saying the same thing over in different ways. What I am bothered by, is the fact that this video is EIGHT minutes long. Why is this video eight minutes long? You want dudes to clean themselves up before sexual relations. That took me about 7 seconds to type. it would have taken less time to get that point across orally.

Anyways, I give props to him because his point was valid, he aologized to all the people who might have gotten offended, AND he told the haters to chill out with out lookin like a damn banshee. KUDOS.



Sometimes you have people around you constantly. When you have these people around you, you don't stop to think about what life would be like without them. This post isn't even to try and get you to think deep as in death and all of that. This post is to just get you to think about the individuals you have in your life NOW. Here, as in, text buddies, online friends, neighbors, cousins, ect. Feel me?

There's someone in my life that I talked to everyday. I didn't take the time out to think about what if I didn't have them around, or what if they didn't bother to hit me up each day. I just knew I had them there and that was fine with me. I never really thought like, "Oh...what if so and so doesn't text me tomorrow morning...", all of that shit was just irrelevant to me, but now when I don't communicate with them on a daily basis...it sucks. That's the only way I can honestly describe it.


eight.eight.ohnine. <3

So, that's Teresa. My feelings aren't new about her. She's the only girl that makes me nervous when she comes around. She's the only girl that I could stare at and never get bored. She's the girl who can make me smile like I do. I love her. I love everything about her.

That's where my mind has been lately. That's why I haven't been blogging like I said I was gonna do. I was talking to someone on Twitter and I realized that I can't just MAKE myself blog. There's so many people who read my blog, to just shove a lame post out onto them would be very wrong of me. SO, I won't feel bad for not blogging everyday. What I will do is make sure I don't go a WEEK without blogging. I'm sure that will be a task since school is gonna start for me soon. College sounds scary. For now, I just wanna spend time with Teresa until she moves.



Sometimes in life, we get the cookies and no milk. Most of us, instead of being thank for the delicious cookies, we ponder the thought on why we don't have the milk to go along with it. We get furious because we think it's unfair, not good enough, and quite frankly just a bunch of bullshit. So many of us forget to realize that it's a blessing to even receive the cookies. Some people don't even GET the cookies, yet we aren't satisfied with what we are blessed with. People, the cookies aren't delicious forever. Milk spoils. Some people are lactose intolerant.

What I'm saying is, life isn't always exactly what you want. Sometimes life is unfair, sometimes we feel like God, or whatever higher power you believe in, is working against us. Look at other people in life, and feel blessed for what you do get. Some people don't have as much and never will have much of anything. You just have to utilize what you DO have and be happy with it.

Life is too short. embrace the family, friends, and other people you love. Be thankful for all the material and inanimate objects that you own. Wake up, being thankful- EVERY SINGLE DAY.



Have you even been in that "grey/gray" area with someone? Whether it be because of emotional issues, some things that were said, or just any of other state that could offset all the happy-go-lucky moments? How do actually go about making it to either black or white,m in the situation? Or do you even TRY to do so? Is being in they grey/gray just OKAY with you? Or is that something to worry yourself over? Or does it even matter? Maybe it just depends on the situation. Maybe it's nothing that you should worry about labeling.

Grey/gray is something that I don't like, yet I always find myself falling into the grey/gray of something. Is it just me? Or is it just the way things play out? Being in the grey makes you confused, and I don't know about anybody else, but I know that I hate the confused feeling.



So, today was really a normal day.
Except for the fact that I had to drive. Now, I dunno how many people know this about me, BUT I'm scared to drive. It's not that I can't drive or that I just don't know how, there is another reason.

I won't go into the reasoning behind this because, well...I just feel like I've dedicated too many posts to that part of my life, and I just don't want to keep doing that. Anyways! I'm rambling now....

So, not only did I drive around like all FUCKING day, BUT I drove my GRANDMOTHER around. (insert a weird face here).

My grandmother just got out of the hospital not that long ago, and I want to be careful with her. So, driving her around had my nerves like...going crazy! The shit was so wild. I drove really good, though. I just was scared because she was in the car. i would feel REALLY bad if something happened while I was driving with no license, and she was in the car.

I do really need to go and get my license, though. I'm just so scared. It's just htat I am so scared of what could happen while driving because of what's happened in my past that, it's almost stressful for me to get into a car.

I don't even know how to fix this problem, really. I feel so lame most of the time because I know 16-year-olds with cars and licenses. I don't have either. Not because I couldn't have, but because I never made it a priority.



So, I been talking about my blackberry for a while now. Well..not a while, but long enough.

I finally got it today. Super excited, but it's not activated yet. I still need to figure everything out, and stuff like that.

I need to really figure out what to do with all the pictures from my old phone. I tried to use the memory card, but it didn't seem to work.

I dunno why I'm typing like this. I guess I just feel like spacing things out.

I slept all day today.

Sorry if my blog is boring today...or ever, in that case.

So, if anybody has any tips on Blackberry apps or anything like that, please let me know.

That's all I can really type right now.

I just want to get into the swing of blogging for the most part.



So, I haven't started blogging like I said I was going to do. I'm fixing that. There's nothing too extreme to blog about, so I'll just do some little points about the last few days.

- I ordered my Blackberry Curve off the net. I ended up getting the Blackberry Curve. I know it's old, and the tour was one of my choices, BUT the curve came out to about $150, while the Tour was like $320. I don't have a job, and I'm trying to survive off of Unemployment, so the Curve sounded a bit better to me at the time. Plus, college expenses are just around the corner and I can't fuck up on that part. August 31st is when my first classes start. Can't wait. Anyways, my brother talked me into getting the Orange phone. I can't complain, it's cute. I already got a Red phone and the silver one didn't seem like my style anyways. So, yeah. Cannot wait until the UPS guy comes tomorrow.

- My grandma got out of the hospital. She was doing a whole lot better, but then things got kind of worse. She's still home and I am still taking care of her. I'm not even mad or inconsiderate that I have to take care of her, but I am tired. So tired. I wish she would get all the way better because it's exhausting to wait for her to do so.

- I still don't have a job, which really sucks. There's no jobs out here for me to grab! I know that school is starting and some high school and college kids are going back to school. I really need money and I need to find a plan before my unemployement runs out. I can't be stuck without income. I haven't had a job in about 5 months. It makes me both depressed and angry. I feel like I am just so worthless.

- Speaking of school, i already mentioned that i start soon. I'm nervous. Really nervous. I need to get my schedule right! It's hard. I'l work it out, though.

- I really want another piercing. I think the Industrial sounds amazing. :)

I think that's about it for now. I will be blogging everyday from now on.